Disillusioned   Leave a comment

How many of us walk in shame, or fear, or disillusionment about how well our walk with the Lord has been going? We can always look back and realize that we could have or should have done better. There can be a healthy reassessment that leads us forward on towards perfection. There can also be an insidious debilitating reassessment that leaves us in shame, fear, or disillusionment.

In the former, we see what we did wrong, how we missed this or that, and use it to become better next time. A perfectionist will almost always take this too far. In Christianity, we see these as driven people, performance orientated. They whip themselves and others for not being successful in all things, at all times.

 A favorite saying I heard years ago is this: The Lord is never disillusioned with us, because he never had any grand illusions of us. As Paul said it so well, let no man think more highly of himself than he ought.

In some ways we are all babies. We may be mature in some areas and quite immature in others. I definitely have some weaknesses.

When we fail in Paul’s directive, we become disillusioned with ourselves, and beat ourselves up for failing. Babies are supposed to make messes. Toddlers are supposed to fall down. 5-6 year olds are supposed to fall off their bikes. 11 year olds are supposed to miss the basket more times than they make it. At each stage of life we have a new set of parameters that we are supposed to fail at until we finally master it. Even then, the masters flub it from time to time.

Most parents treasure the times (And later, the memories) of watching, and assisting, their child go through each stage of life. Watching the many many failures, the retrying, again and again, until they master that task. Watching your child learn to walk is exhilarating, ask most parents. The enjoyment is increased magnificently in that it is 2 or more people participating together in this experience. What parent wants a child fully ready and capable from the beginning?

The failures and reattempts are contagiously exhilarating. Doing this together, with the child is astronomically joyous and fulfilling. Watching them succeed and finally master it.

A parent teaching his child soccer, baseball, basketball, cooking, etc is enormously satisfying. What a thrill. All the mistakes and failures are part of the process. Without them, the intimacy of learning together, would be lost.

A parent has no grand illusions of their child before they reach a certain stage. They expect many failures until the mastery of that task is achieved.

So it is with Our Father. Take heart dear ones.

 It is when we think of ourselves higher than we ought, that we become full of shame, fear, disillusioned, and discouraged.

In a precious blog I tell the story of “Carolyn.”

 The story of “Carolyn” was supposed to give us great hope and encouragement to practice what she does. It was supposed to make us so fully aware of how much He enjoys it when anyone practices what she does. It was not meant to put her on a pedestal. He rarely ever finds people who actually practice what she is doing. It is so rare, that He treasures it ever so much more for anyone who will do it.

Posted October 7, 2010 by tomp4kc in Uncategorized

Delighting Jesus   1 comment

September 2010


This morning I had an incredible encounter with the Lord Jesus.

I will change a name to protect the innocent.

I was meeting with the Lord, and looking into His face. He asked me to look into His eyes and tell Him what I saw in them. I looked and was captured by His delight and joy in me. I let that sink in for a while. Then I went back to see what else was there.

He cautioned me to not look for something that was not there.

We spent some more time together, then He began to share with me some things. Next He asked me to look again upon His face, and into His eyes. This time I could not see into His eyes (My limitation). While I attempted to do so, He began revealing something incredible and quite moving.

He shared from His heart how he so delights when Christians bring new converts in. It so much causes great and intense love for the soul winner. (Understand that I have rarely personally lead anyone to the Lord in a direct manner.) He share that there were no hidden “Buts” behind that. He has pure and unimaginable love for the soul winner.

He next began to unfold to me that I had brought a most awesome treasure to Him. He was so overwhelmed with this treasure I had brought Him. I cannot begin to express the depths of His heart’s response to this precious treasure. He shared with me that I had brought Carolyn (not her real name) to Him, training her in how to spend time just being with Him. Not for prayer, or for personal gain. Rather to simply be with Him. When everything else seems to fall apart, Carolyn has learned to crawl up on Daddy’s lap. There He gets to spend time with her. This is so unusual amongst Christians, that it strikes His heart so very deeply and personally. He is quite taken in with these precious times with Carolyn.

He switched the subject slightly and said that as He so dearly loves the soul winner, He was even more delighted in this gift I had given Him. He spent a great deal of time, energy and words expressing His deepest thankfulness for this gift I had brought. He also expressed His great appreciation for staying with Carolyn and mentoring in these ways that are so astoundingly precious, beyond our wildest imagination, this is to Him.

Posted September 25, 2010 by tomp4kc in Uncategorized

Our Healing Journey-Community   1 comment

This material is an excerpt from my upcoming book, “A Basis and Framework For Christian Inner Healing.

I would like to take a moment to share some recent meditations and thoughts surrounding our Inner healing journey. Let me just say that these are my thoughts and what I believe I have heard from God. Take them as they are given, and see if the Lord confirms any of this to your heart. This is for our edification.

God creates so many different things; everything actually. Nothing made was made evil. It has been used in evil manners. Nothing seems (appears) to be as good, pure and holy as it was created to be.

What if we saw things through the eyes of God, and not what the natural eyes are limited in seeing.

Even our gift of discerning, was only meant to be limited to that, discerning. So, by the Holy Spirit we discern something is not right. What are we supposed to do? First ask, “What is God doing?” If He is not all worked up about it, why are we? Easy, because He also “Knows.” If we slowed down and not jump into fight mode, we would come out further ahead. What if we slowed down, found out what was on the Father’s heart, and after that, what is on His heart to do about what we were allowed to discern.

Then and only then are we prepared to partner with Him.

When God created the world, He ordained that certain things should be put in place and functioning correctly. Seeing/Discerning those places where it is not functioning correctly should cause us to become humble, and grieve along with the Father for what He allowed us to see/discern. Be like Job’s first set of friends. They came at sat in the ashes along with Job. They sat for days, allowing their hearts to synchronize with Job’s heart. They first grieved together.

God created families as the place to train up children. Children come born with 100 billion neurons. But until they begin to create networks between each other, they are useless. In the womb, and then for the rest of our lives, we build these networks. Some are simply functional, others are dysfunctional, and others take us to new levels.

Learning to crawl or walk, builds these neurons into networks. When they are networks we then utilize them. So, make no mistake, we will build neuron networks, for better or for worse.

When we live a life full of stress and distress, our brains release cortisol to minimize the pain. But, when we live in stress and distress, the cortisol begins to destroy the neuron networks.

When we are infants our families are there to show us “how to live.” We have built into our brains very special neurons, called mirror neurons. These are used by us as we are growing up. We need them. When we as infants do not know how to get through a situation, or lack a skill, we turn to our families, and turn on the mirror neurons. We watch what they do, and even more importantly we match their state of mind while they go though it with us. If we as infants can tell by ongoing experience that the family member is A) not delighted to be with us,  B) Is not at peace (enough peace, not stressed out) within themselves,  C) is not qualified to perform the required task,  D) is not desirous to help, then the outcome is negative in the sense that: 

  1. We did not learn how to accomplish/deal with the task/situation
  2. How not to avoid the task/situation
  3. How to stay at peace throughout the task/situation
  4. How to stay relational and emotionally available to others throughout the hard task/situation
  5. How to “Be ourselves” (Jim Wilder) throughout the task/situation
  6. How to be able to be free to explore all options throughout the task/situation


This is the correct definition of emotional and social maturity. When we learn these skills for any and all situations, then, and only then, are we both emotionally and socially mature.

But families have become a mess.

Family influences upon our maturity skills

I would like to be clear up front that I am not the originator of many of these concepts. I am pulling from several different resources, and adding only a little of my own interpretation in these early sections.

     When you take the Elijah House Basic 1 and Basic 2 classes you will hear a quote from the Sanford’s, “You were wounded in the context of community, and you will be healed in the context of community.” That is a resounding theme in their ministry.

From Jim Wilder’s Thrive material and Life Model material you will hear the same theme over and over. Here are two quotes from Jim Wilder’s material.

On page 5 of “The Life Model” they start with this:

“People need to know who they are. They also need to be reminded who they are, frequently, by people who love them, and really know them. And they need repair, so that they can live from the hearts that Jesus gave them. That is what it takes to achieve wholeness in a fractured world. It takes belonging to a community. It takes a whole lot of work in the area of maturity. It takes God’s hand to boost people when they are stuck, and it takes a lifetime.”

On page 9 he makes this bold assertion:

“Therapy is not Enough

“But what often happens in traditional therapy? Confidential forms are brought out. Clients are told this is a place to speak honestly. They are told that once they learn to be honest, and open up in the therapist’s office, they will be able to open up “out there.” However it does not help people to speak out honestly if they live in a world that is punished. If people learn to authentically share how discouraged they are, how they have a deep longing to connect with others, or how they suffer because of unresolved conflict, they risk being punished “out there.” It does no good to be honest about one’s feelings in a therapist’s office if that is the only arena where it is permitted. Therapy will fail if the client is restricted to being real and honest only in the therapist’s office.

“The shortcomings of therapy are becoming easier to identify, as our culture moves further away from the community-based life we used to enjoy. Therapy seems to work pretty well when clients belong to a community where their lives are nurtured. In a life-giving community, people can usually muster enough energy to move through life’s sticking points. They can forge an identity based upon the hearts with which they were created, and they can collect power to live from their hearts. However it is a challenge in our modern world to create a caring community experience, and when that fails, therapy alone will not succeed.”

In the culture of the Middle East, and Hebraic culture, God ordained the 3 generation family. Mom and dad are beginning to learn how to parent. They are not yet trained and equipped to do so. They require help from their mothers and fathers. When life’s situations come, they need the maturity of a mother and father who can walk them through it. If not, they will not be the correct source to build this into their infants and toddlers.

[The references to Attachment must be understood in the context of Bowlby’s “Attachment Theory” and not any other personal definitions.

Read the articles and books by Dr. Besel Van Der Kolk, Dr. Alan Schore, and Dr. Daniel Siegel. These will give you a clear picture of Attachment theory and how it applies to brain science and child development issues.

I am borrowing heavily upon their material, and recently published Brain Science articles about Mirror Neurons, see Mind Magazine, and Science Magazine articles in 2008 and 2009.]

It is the mirror neurons that focus on the emotional state of mom and dad while also seeing how it is done. But if the infant/child determines a problem with mom or dad’s emotional state, things go wrong. Then they learn to find other coping mechanisms for each of life’s situations. They may have a good sized repertoire of coping mechanisms.

Also, they attach emotional tags to life’s situations, based upon what their mirror neurons told them about the emotional state of mom or dad.

Lastly, they will create an assessment, a judgment, about what happened and the why it happened. We are wired to make some assessment, in order to make sense of life. When things go well, no problem, our assessment and judgments are likely correct. If things did not go well, they are likely to be wrong, partially or fully wrong. What did happen is only our view of it, our perception of the facts, from our viewpoint only. The why it happened and what does this mean to me, is the last portion. It is highly skewed, based upon the capability of an infant/child to reason things out. Yet we are wired such that we must attempt to make sense of it.

Every night, as we go to sleep, we re-process what occurred during the day. All significant events are processed. If we can make sense of them, we integrate them into our life’s story and store them as clean memories. Clean meaning without undue pain attached to it. Undue is a relative term. Pain is not he issue, it is the unbearable pain, with no solace or sense to it.    

If we go through a traumatic event with a family where we have great attachments, we will come out almost unscathed, if mom or dad have the capacity to get through it. We draw from their buckets, and their emotional maturity. If theirs is dry, we will experience more trauma. But if we do not have ant great attachment with mom or dad, it is far worse.   

Section conclusion: If we have great attachments, and mom and dad are mature (Or have resources to help them), then life’s problems minimally effect us. If these are not the case, we will have wrong assessments, wrong beliefs, wrong interpretations, poor coping skills, and a small capacity/joy bucket.

But in all of this the brain cannot be idle. It will create neuron structures within the brain, good ones or bad ones. We will build a full set of coping skills, good or bad. We will create a belief system, good or bad.

Inner Healing sessions and the brain

I contend that during Inner Healing sessions, God comes and addresses the lies and mis-perceptions we have learned over the years. He addresses our interpretations of what happened as well. He shows us where we perceived things incorrectly. He shows us how we came to believe wrong things about ourselves as well.   

He also will reveal the truth about the true pains we received from others. He graciously shows us their brokenness and their woundedness, giving us grace and compassion for them.   

In sessions Jesus will:

  1. Show us what truly happened, undoing our slant on the story
  2. Show us the depths of pain we are suppressing
  3. Show us how we believed incorrect things about ourselves and others
  4. Show us He was there
  5. Offers us His strength, for what we did not have in the situation
  6. Offer us healing from these pains, lies and woundings
  7. Offers us fellowship with Him. He absolutely delights in being with us.   

What does not happen in Inner Healing sessions:

  1. Jesus does not rewire our brains. The lie is gone, truth is now stored. But our brains create what is called a “Mental Model” of life. Indeed we create many of these Mental Models,, one for each grouping of “like” situations. These are created at the subconscious level. Then, throughout life, we subconsciously call forth the related Mental Model and interpret the current event based upon which mental Model you pulled forth. Mental Models are built based upon life’s experiences. They get modified by new information. They cannot be thrown away. So we are now open to having these Mental Models adjusted for the better. But the structure has not yet been rewired. 
  2. Jesus does not rewire our brains. Based upon what worked and what did not work, we build a repertoire of coping mechanisms. Jesus will often show us a particular coping mechanism, and how inadequate it was. We learned it when life was not safe, or good. We believed we had no other choice. Now we see and believe we have other choices and options. But the structure has not yet been rewired.
  3. Jesus does not rewire our brains. Based upon what worked and what did not work, we build a series of mind sets and belief systems. Jesus may heal a belief in session, but does not heal the system of beliefs. Because He heals certain beliefs, this opens us up to the possibility that more things need to be addressed. But the structure has not yet been rewired.
  4. Jesus does not restore relationships. He heals us enough to where we can once again consider trusting, and being vulnerable. Yet the other party may not be changed, so they are not safe. Even when they change, trust must be earned. So we have the ability to consider trusting and being vulnerable. But the structure has not yet been rewired. 


Section conclusion: We had sessions, we had genuine encounters with Jesus or the Father. We often believe that we are healed. We are healed of the pain of the memories. We now have truths to replace lies.

What has not occurred is the walking it out, until our minds are rewired with healthy and mature ways of thinking, believing, coping, etc.

Our healing positions us to be able for the first time in many years to walk these out, and reach emotional and social maturity. It was an impossibility before we get healed. He has truly freed us. Now we must walk into our maturity.

Walking into our emotional and social maturity

Going back to the beginning, God has purposely deigned everything.

He designed families to be the safe place for you and I to grow into maturity. God knew the family unit was not sufficient, so His idea has always been the 3 generation family. Because parents have never been parents before. They need their parents (or other older male and female community elders) to walk this out with them.

Satan knows this all too well. He has been systematically tearing apart the family structure, one tiny piece at a time.

We rarely have 3 generation families. Parents and grand parents alike are not prepared to raise a family.

The Father in Heaven always had a backup for this problem. The Church family. There are quite a large number of Churches that can and do function quite well in this manner. There are great Fathers and Mothers available within these Churches to fill in the gap.

The dilemma comes from this: Do these Churches also meet my other needs? Do they teach and practice faith? Do they have excellent Bible teaching skills? Can they develop my calling and my destiny? Can they help develop my spiritual gifting? Great training for my children? Care for the poor and homeless? Strong evangelism? Community service? Worship depth and intensity?   

In other words, what do I have to sacrifice to find a Church that can help me grow into emotional and social maturity? Why do I have to choose one over another? I will leave that as unanswered, and just say that I hear your cry. Turn it to a cry to the Father. Do let net bitterness in though.

The main thrust of this section is to say that the first section describes what has gone wrong in our brain’s neuron networks. Section 2 describes what Jesus heals and what He does not heal in sessions. This section focuses upon God’s divine order. He created our brains with mirror neurons. He created us by divine design to require a secure relationship with others as the foundation for wirings as well as rewiring our brains. There is no escaping this. You cannot find another path.

God has a third option, for extreme cases. If the family was not capable or willing to do their part, then you were seriously emotionally and sociologically wounded. If they have not changed, then they may or may not be a good source for a part of your journey to wholeness. Even after some of your healing, they still may or may not be available resources.  Then the Church family is next in line. The local community can also be used for mature Mothers and Fathers. Do not minimize this. Do not look at the secular community as something to avoid. But lastly, in extreme cases alone, Jesus and the Father are more than willing. It turns out surprisingly, that they are very mature, available, and delighted to be with you. It grieves their hearts that the first several options are not available to you. They will never leave you with no options. But remember, He will not step in, if you ruled out the other options, when they were available to you. In those cases, He may appear as silent and the heavens as cold brass.    

God created the divine order, and the concepts of family, Church and community. He is not willing to disrupt divine order just for you. If the divine order truly is broken for you, and not just your assessment of it, then He will be more than delighted to step in.

So very many (Thousands upon thousands) of Christians grow up and are deeply wounded in their families, and then in their communities, and in their Churches. It gets to be unbearable.   

It gets so bad that they finally conclude that people are too much pain. They believe by experience that if I open up again, become vulnerable, I will be hurt. So, they dial down their attachment circuits, because the pain is too great. Now they can not be relational, because the attachment circuits are dialed down. What options are available?

Almost none. So what modes can they operate in? Numbness. Silence. High spirituality. High performance. Plodding through life. Highly cognitive. Cerebral. Overly jovial. Over active in any services. Shut down. Captive. Etc 

For those that take the spiritual paths from that list, they go through life never being understood or feeling connected. If they reach a certain “Level” in their spirituality, giftings or callings, they will finally leave and head for a spiritual Christian “Jerusalem.”  What is a Spiritual Jerusalem? It is one of several places around the globe where Christians have become enamored with the particular style of “Moves of God.” There is a deep affinity in their hearts. They highly esteem these places.

What they believe is this: 1) Forget close relationships, I will only get hurt again  2) I will be at least recognized for my spiritual level, my giftings or my calling  3) I will be amongst like minded people, so the daily pain I feel will be much less  4) If all else fails, I can focus intently upon God Himself, and these others things will no longer matter. 

 So you arrive at your Spiritual “Jerusalem” and everything seems to go close to plan. But over a short few months usually:

  1. You find “Like Minded” people are a poor substitute for the deep longing for attachment at a deep level with people. God built that into you by design.
  2. Your calling is no longer as unique as it was back home. Here, there are many similarly called people. Your calling was only unique for where God intended it to be used. So, now you feel less special, where you thought you would be made to feel more special and unique. You made your calling into a substitute and a replacement for the God given strong desire for intimate relationship with people.
  3. Your gifting is no longer as unique as it was back home. Here, there are many similarly gifted people. Your gifting was only unique for where God intended it to be used. So, now you feel less special, where you thought you would be made to feel more special and unique. You made your gifting into a substitute and a replacement for the God given strong desire for intimate relationship with people.
  4. As they gaze upon Jesus and focus intently upon the divine vertical relationship, our Father God pulls a fast one over on them. He begins to re-awaken their deep deep longing to be attached to others. He does this very subtly. Two things can occur here. One is that He slowly removes the mechanisms you used through the years to hide the need. This causes you to feel the pain of poor attachments afresh as well as a deep deep yearning for the real intimate attachment with others.. The pain cannot be hidden from yourself. You look at this as a distraction from getting closer and more focused upon Him alone. You are greatly annoyed by this, and feel so unspiritual. This is a serious distraction, taking you away from your focus upon Him; so you believe. The other way it could go is that you achieve a new “high” in your performance orientated Christian walk. You become less real, and more hyper-spiritual, in the false, man-made, sense.
  5. Here is the good news. The first option above was by His design. He did it with a purpose. His heart burns with a zealous passion for you. This zeal consumes Him. The same consuming zeal for others also exists within Him. He has a burning desire for deep intimate relationships. What does scripture teach us, as we behold Him, and fix our eyes (gaze) upon Him, we will by necessity become like Him.
  6. So now we are forced into a dilemma. We feel a rekindling of our attachment circuits for others, because of our time with Him. But we also live with the fear of the pain, based upon past experience, as well as knowing/believing that the others have not changed.
  7. Now God is well pleased. We are now for the first time in a position to face our deepest pain and agony, and start our walk towards emotional and sociological maturity. It was not possible to start the journey until our hearts were re-awakened.


Along the way you find many others on the same journey, broken, wounded, over spiritual, over proud, etc. Most unsafe in the natural. God brings us together along our journeys. Then He uses these broken ones to create communities around the globe to start the 3rd phase of our Healing Journey, the path to emotional and sociological maturity. Something many Churches do not yet comprehend. Yet a very large number do.

Can you silently sit in the ashes with Jesus/Job as He grieves that so many have to choose between a Church with Mothers and Fathers, but fall so short on the others? Or grieve for the Churches that have the other things, but have no Fathers and Mothers? No judgment, no condemnation. Just allow your heart to synchronize with the Father’s heart, and carry this grieving.

Partial Reference Material

[1] The Developing Mind, Daniel Siegel, Guilford Press, 1999

[2] Parenting From the Inside Out, Daniel Siegel, Jeremy Tarcher , 2003

[3] Traumatic Stress, Bessel van der Kolk, Guilford Press (February 18, 1999)

[4] Affect Regulation and the Origin of the Self: The Neurobiology of Emotional Development, Alan Schore, Lawrence Erlbaum, 1999

[5] Affect Dysregulation and Repair of the Self, Alan Schore, W.W. Norton & Co, 2003

[21] The Transformation of the Inner Man, John Sanford, Victory House, 1982

[22] Theophostics Basic Manual, Dr. Ed Smith, New Creation Publishing, 2005

[23] The Life Model, Jim Wilder, Shepherd’s House, 1999

[24] Living with Men, Jim Wilder, Shepherd’s House, 2004

Also go to Dr. Karl Lehman’s web page, www.kclehman.com. There refer to his papers on Brain Science and the Immanuel Process.

Posted August 25, 2010 by tomp4kc in Uncategorized

Unqualified or Self Diqualified   Leave a comment

Have you ever felt inadequate, unqualified or ill equipped to do a specific task? Have you ever disqualified yourself from doing certain tasks? Have you ever felt the urging or prompting of the Holy Spirit, but upon evaluation ruled it out?

What were the factors you used to make that determination? Spend some time here and make a list of the reasons you disqualified yourself.

Have you ever felt you had a word of advice for those in authority over you, but never gave it? What were the factors that made you decide not to, even when you were pretty sure it was the Holy Spirit? How many times did you find out later that you had heard correctly, even though you did not deliver the word? What was the outcome? Were there things that could have been avoided had you delivered the word, and even more importantly, if they had listened with an open heart?

How many Churches have you attended where you have the freedom to follow through? Is there an open teachable heart in those in authority over you? Or do they send signals and messages that those below are not qualified to bring messages to them? Are these overt or covert signals and messages?

Is there a strong message being sent out to not even dare to approach leadership? Or is it very subtle? Leaders may not know when they are sending out subtle messages unless it is intentional. If it is overt, they usually know they are. Do they use a religious system where only invited people can approach leadership?

Are leaders demonstrating to you the openness they expect from you? Or are they goat herders? Do you know the difference between a goat herder and a shepherd? Goat herders drive the goats from behind, using sticks. The Shepherds lead the flock from the front, and has a staff, used very differently than the stick of the goat herder. Their staff comforts the sheep.

Spend some time here and make a list of the reasons you have heard over the years (From leadership) that tells you have no business approaching leadership with messages and guidance.

Before continuing, I will place a disclaimer here. I am addressing relative mature (not 100% mature) people, and people operating from a fairly pure heart (not 100% pure). I am also addressing people who have a great desire to see their leadership succeed, and do not care whether anyone ever knows it was they who helped bring the change.


How many of you have heard preachers preach about the passage that talks about how we should not touch God’s anointed one? I can guarantee that almost none of you have heard the passage presented correctly. Very few preach it as it is written. Read Psalm 105 and see God’s own interpretation of the original passage. First, notice it says anointed “ones”, and not “one”. Taken in context, he was not saying do not touch Moses, or Aaron, or Miriam. He was referring to all of Israel. Then he calls out the Prophets separately.

1Ch. 16:19 When they were but few in number, few indeed, and strangers in it,

1Ch. 16:20 they [One Hebrew manuscript, Septuagint and Vulgate (see also Psalm 105:12); most Hebrew manuscripts inherit, 16:19 though you are but few in number, few indeed, and strangers in it.” 16:20 They] wandered from nation to nation, from one kingdom to another. 1Ch. 16:21 He allowed no man to oppress them; for their sake he rebuked kings: 1Ch. 16:22 “Do not touch my anointed ones; do my prophets no harm.” 1Ch. 16:23 Sing to the LORD, all the earth; proclaim his salvation day after day. (NIV)

You can readily see that God had in mind the whole people, and not the leadership. How many teachings have you heard that presented the Lord’s heart on this issue?

Who are the anointed ones?

1Jn. 2:20 But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth. [Some manuscripts: and you know all things] 1Jn. 2:21 I do not write to you because you do not know the truth, but because you do know it and because no lie comes from the truth (NIV)


1Jn. 2:26 I am writing these things to you about those who are trying

to lead you astray. 1Jn. 2:27 As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his

anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit — just as it has taught you, remain in him. 1Jn. 2:28 And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming. 1Jn. 2:29 If you know that he is righteous, you know that everyone who does what is right has been born of him. (NIV)


2Co. 1:21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 2Co. 1:22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our

hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. (NIV)


It resides within many in the body, not limited to leadership. Yet there are many in leadership who act as if they are extra special because of a perception that leadership is anointed and the flock is not. Some are simply misguided by bad teaching they received. This creates an elitist attitude that is very ungodly and destructive to the Kingdom. This elitist attitude is very prevalent amongst Churches, even very good Churches. It even abides in Churches with heavily anointed ministries. But it is still very destructive to building the Kingdom of God.

So many very good leaders have fallen under the captivating, alluring deception of this elitist spirit. They did not walk in embracing it. They were seduced by it. Unless you understand that, you will carry a very negative attitude towards your leadership and cause this to spiral out of control, tearing the garment even worse.

Your attitude and your response is critical. Yet you do not need to be silenced by them, and end up doing nothing, or silently leaving. But how you conduct yourself before them, and before the Holy Throne in intercession is critical. Do you understand what a Holy Consuming Fire our God is? You need to walk in understanding that, and still walk in boldness. But have a clean and pure heart that wants to see restoral, not vindication or to prove you were right. Also guard your tongue around others. Pretend the Almighty is standing there watching and listening in on your conversations. Yet, still do what is right.

As you read through the Old Testament you see many occasions where the Lord sent prophets to warn, to teach, to instruct and even give war strategies to the leaders. While they were not always welcome, they did it anyway. How many teachings has leadership given encouraging this from the people? What does a Prophet know of war strategies? Most of today’s leaders would tell you to stick to your area of expertise.

Even a redeemed heathen (Moses Father-in-Law who was the High Priest to a demon-god of Midian) gave Moses advice that was implemented nationwide.

Ex. 18:17 Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good.

Ex. 18:18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. Ex. 18:19 Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. Ex. 18:20 Teach them the decrees and laws, and show them the way to live and the duties they are to perform. Ex. 18:21 But select capable men from all the people — men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain — and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens.  (NIV)

Can a leader accept advice with meekness like Moses did? This was unsolicited advice. We know that Jethro must have been converted from his heathen ways because he made sacrifices to God at one point after leaving Midian. He also was with the group that saw Jehovah.

Ex. 18:12 Then Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, brought a burnt offering and other sacrifices to God, and Aaron came with all the elders of Israel to eat bread with Moses’ father-in-law in the presence of God. (NIV)

We also see where Deborah (A judge and a woman) gave advice to the leaders of Israel advising them to go to war. This was not solicited advise. Nor is there any indication that this was one of many. Nor is there any indication she was on the elite “advisory board.” Can today’s leaders receive from such?

In the New Testament we see John the Baptist giving direction to leadership, un-solicited. Is this allowed and embraced with today’s leadership? What message are we giving our people?

How did New testament Church leaders treat unsolicited words?

Ac. 11:27 During this time some prophets came down from Jerusalem

to Antioch. Ac. 11:28 One of them, named Agabus, stood up and through the Spirit predicted that a severe famine would spread over the entire Roman world. (This happened during the reign of Claudius.) Ac. 11:29 The disciples, each according to his ability, decided to provide help for the brothers living in Judea. Ac. 11:30 This they did, sending their gift to the elders by Barnabas and Saul. (NIV)

Ac. 13:1 In the church at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen (who had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch) and Saul. Ac. 13:2 While they were worshipping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work

to which I have called them.” Ac. 13:3 So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off. Ac. 13:4 The two of them, sent on their way by the Holy Spirit, went down to Seleucia and sailed from there to Cyprus. (NIV)


Did you notice that in both of these instances good people were taken away from the group and sent to fulfill a revealed purpose. 2nd and third string people were not sent to fulfill the Lord’s revealed direction. If the Lord spoke, we will send some of our best. Did you notice these were unsolicited messages being delivered? Did you notice the message was not sent to the Pastors or to the Apostles? Yet the leadership was expected by God to listen and obey.

Ac. 6:1 In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Grecian Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. Ac. 6:2 So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Ac. 6:3 Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them Ac. 6:4 and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.” Ac. 6:5 This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from

Antioch, a convert to Judaism. Ac. 6:6 They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.  (NIV)


Most leaders would never give an ear to this group. They would be labeled as complainers or trouble makers by many in leadership. See what attitude God’s servants responded with.


This one took a real twist very recently.

Recall my direction early on to list the reasons you disqualified yourself, not what others did to disqualify yourself.

Have you ever looked at an anointed man or women of God that you were fairly confident that their walk with God was at a higher or deeper level than your own? Have you ever had a word to give them, but could not because you disqualified yourself? Was the reason because you were certain they were more spiritual than yourself?

The following floored me.

Think of Nathan approaching King David. King David ministered directly before the Lord and the Ark. No person other than the High Priest was supposed to do that. Not any priest could do that, or they would die, per Jehovah. The Jehovah sends Nathan to King David with a word. Would you feel disqualified?

King David was also a world class military man. Yet Jehovah sent Nathan with directions? Would you feel disqualified?

Read again the above portion on Acts 6. Would you feel disqualified?

Read about Agabus telling Paul/Saul that he would be bound. (Acts 21) Would you feel disqualified?

1Pe. 1:10 Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 1Pe. 1:11 trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. 1Pe. 1:12 It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves

but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things. 1Pe. 1:13 Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.  (NIV)

As you are well aware, Angels are often sent to minister to our aid, even though we are rarely aware of their activity. You are also aware that there is the one verse that says we are higher than the angels, yet another that says we are a little lower than the angels. By serving to our needs they therefore serve the Lord. But I get a sense that the Angels sometimes sense their own inadequacies in ministering to us. I believe (No proof) that their only confidence in ministering to man is they received the order and the word from the Throne of Heaven.

But this shocked me.

Mt. 4:10 Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: `Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’“ [Deut. 6:13] Mt. 4:11 Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. (NIV)



Lk. 22:41 He withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down

and prayed, Lk. 22:42 “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” Lk. 22:43 An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. Lk. 22:44 And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. (NIV) 

How would you like this assignment? Talk about feeling inadequate!!! What do you say or do? No trivial “Pat” answers could be given to the Lord Jesus! What you say has to be more than Biblical truths. You cannot say to Jesus, “Jesus, you know in a few years Paul will write into the scriptures that we know everything will work out OK.” Nope. This frilly Bible truth will not fly here. Jesus needs something very real and concrete from the Throne of Heaven. Would God allow the angels to bow out and not minister to Jesus? Could they disqualify themselves based upon the truth that they were not Jesus’ equal or superior?

How about you and I then?

There are whole sermons and teachings that have never been released from Heaven coming on this subject. And no, I have not yet heard them.

Posted August 25, 2010 by tomp4kc in Uncategorized

A Revelation of God   Leave a comment

March 9, 2000

The following is some revelations of the Nature of our awesome Lord, that occurred over the course of several months. It is important to understand that this has since become a progressive revelation, that has deepened over time, and has stunned me multiple times.

Several years ago, while still laying on the floor, after having been prayed for, I heard the Father ask me, “Why did I create man?”

I thought for a few seconds and answered, “So that you would have someone to worship you.”

He replied to that, “No, I have plenty of those.” (Angels)

I thought again and answered, “So you would have someone to do your work here on earth.”

He replied, “No, I have plenty who could do that.” (Angels)

Then, wising up, I replied, “Well, I guess you know the answer, and I should listen to your answer.” (It takes me a while to catch on)

His response stunned me. Even now, years later, the reverberations of the different meanings, and facets still stun me. He said, “I am love. I am patience. I am kindness, etc. That is my nature. It is what I am. I cannot say that I am love, if it is not tested. And it must be tested to the utmost. And you (Meaning mankind) are that test!!! I can do the most marvelous things for man, and really bless him, then have man turn around and really mess it up big time.”

He began to show me how The Godhead came up with this test of His Love, which is a test of His very Character, and Nature. Everything He is, is being tested to the maximum by us. Can He love us with His infinite love while we are in rebellion? Does His patience run thin when walk in our own ways, or does His patience remain at the maximum level during those times in our lives?

He has made it so real to me what it says in Hebrews, that Jesus went to the cross with Joy, knowing what was set before Him. He was not just viewing Heaven, and the throne. Do you know the song that says, “He saw me with eternal eyes…”? That is so rich, beyond your knowing. He saw you and me, including every sin we would make, before salvation, and after salvation. With all of that, He went to the cross with full, complete joy, as only God has I; meaning He has it without measure. His Love was full, without measure, His patience was full, without measure, His longsuffering was full, without measure. Why, because that is His nature.

We tested it. He passed (And continues to pass) it with flying colors!!! Oh, do you see it now? He did not waver on any point. He did not grit his teeth and stoically manage His way through it. If He had, He would have ceased being the perfect God that He is. He cannot compromise on His nature, and still be God, in perfection.

No, Jesus passed with flying colors!! He aced the test!! He stuck a perfect 10 as they would say in gymnastics!!

We are a test for God. Yet He designed it in such a way that there is no excuse for you and I. And He does not begrudge us in one bit. No, He loves us without measure!!

I hope this has encouraged you, and causes your heart to want to respond in like manner as His heart is towards us. If we desperately seek the help of the Holy Spirit to be able to respond in like passions towards Him, the greatest Lover of our souls, we will fulfill the rest of everything He wants us to. You see, in responding in like manner, we fulfill the 1rst, and great commandment that Jesus laid before us. Do we love Him with all our soul, with all of our mind, and with all of our strength? We cannot, without the actual empowering of the Holy Spirit. And that is not a one time gift, it is moment by moment gift of Grace..

Let us strive with all that is within us, empowered by the Holy Spirit, to match His passions toward us!!! How many of you know it is high on His list of prayers that He loves to answer!!! If we will just ask to have our Hearts fully impassioned towards Jesus!! What Father could resist answering such a prayer, if that prayer was offered without reservations, or contingencies?

Oh Father, I give you the right, nay, rather I earnestly cry out to you, to change my heart until it becomes like yours. While I am still of sound mind, I ask that in the heat of things, when I lose my sound mind and spirit, and resist you, that you do not listen to me then, rather listen to me now, while I am in sound mind and spirit. Father, I give you free reign to begin changing everything in my life that stands in the way. And Father, every place I resist, I give you the right to take whatever measures are necessary to break that stronghold in my life.

Posted August 1, 2010 by tomp4kc in Uncategorized

Dr. Tom Paterik’s Journey to KCHC   Leave a comment

I was raised in a good conservative fundamental Christian family and Church. I learned to love the Word of God at a young age. I owe much to my parents, family and Church upbringing.

At the age of 12 I accepted Christ as my personal savior. And by the time I was a teenager, I was very active in several Christian activities: Church, Youth Group, Young Life, and Youth for Christ. I am so grateful for those years.

In those early years, I found many would come to me for advice and counseling. I enjoyed it as well.

Through the years I continued to be known as a gifted Bible teacher and a good counselor. I enjoyed helping people.

In the later years, our family went through a very hard ordeal of leaving a very good Church, but it was also abusive. This Church was unique, in that so many people had a true passion for Jesus, and knew the Word well. Yet shame, fear, control and manipulation were used by leadership.

In the end, we left before we were forced out.

The real story here is that how do you handle the pain and damage to yourself and your loved ones? During this season I was heavily tested in not allowing bitterness and resentment to take root. I believe that I passed the testing well. Yet it did sustain lasting damage on my family.

In the middle of this, we regularly saw people from the Church. Some of these people rarely talked to us, and there were  those who regularly talked to us. When we met, the Lord would show us which ones were supposed to leave, and which ones were not. We kept our thoughts to ourselves, and loved and encouraged them. Knowing full well they were being hurt unknowingly by the leadership, we still never revealed what the Lord showed us.

In stead, we taught how to keep a pure heart.

Then, as they became self aware that they needed to leave, they always stopped at our door. We ministered to them, and taught them more on leaving with a pure heart.

At the point we were introduced to Theophostics Prayer Ministry (see http://www.theophostic.com/) . It revolutionized our way of doing ministry.

I attended Elijah House training as well (see http://www.elijahhouse.org/) . I have read most of the books by the Sanford’s.

I read “Restoring the Foundations” by the Kilstra’s (see http://rtfi.org/) . I read several of Leanne Payne’s books (see http://www.leannepayne.org/home/index.php) .

I went back to school and received my Ph.D. in Scriptural Psychology.

In about 2003, Fred and Barb Shoup started up a community for healing and training people in healing. Theophostics Prayer Ministry was the foundation for the training. We became actively involved with training within this community. A good deal of research shows that you will not reach both healing and emotional maturity sitting in healing sessions. It takes a community to complete the emotional maturity and learn to respond to life’s situations in a healthy manner.

We became convinced of this major premise. So when Fred and Barb Shoup were called to move to another location, to be a part of another wonderful ministry, they looked around for people to continue on with the fledgling ministry. Steve Bartlett picked up the reigns, and I assist him in this endeavor.

Over the years we have learned much from Dr. Karl and Charlotte Lehman (see www.kclehman.com) , and from James E. Wilder (see http://www.lifemodel.org/) . Their teachings have vastly enriched our ministry here, as well as how we do community.

Steve Bartlett came up with name “Kansas City Healing Community”, and I love it.

Posted July 31, 2010 by tomp4kc in Uncategorized